Nas-Tarcija aka Cindy510

your a part time lover and a full time friend I don’t see what anyone could see in anyone else…..                                                                                            .          but you

I’m not brooken you just hurt me

you, and what you need

You say you need space 

Well I need closure

You say we need to talk

But you can’t handle the things I say

You say why didn’t say this before 

Would it have changed anything

You sit there with that glassy still look in your eye as if to say no

But its ok you don’t have to because I know it wouldn’t have 

You say why am I say this now

Because I need closure,I  need to say the unsaid, all the what if I’s and what it could have beens 

You hug me to try an make me feel better, not because you care but because only now you can see how much you hurt me 

I know you don’t but at least now you can see what you’ve done to me, I’m sitting here with a havy heary trying to hold back tears beacse its beacome clear an can see what was in all of this 

You stand there with the slimest stroke of remorse, thinking of only what you can gain from my weakness

But your not the only one to blame because knew what you were and the trouble you cause cause but that didn’t chanfe anything still held on to see if you could change to see if any on this would change 

You had my heart your hand and you played exactly right so would do anything you wanted me to

And with three simple words you shatter it you shatter me in an instant, an make me question why ever did this in the first place with you but I guess its better this, no all the what ifs and maybes are gone…

You finally say the three words I dreeded to hear

Buts its better that way I know where I stand and what I was, you finally said something that was worth saying. I wanted honesty and you gave it to me it shatter me buts what had to said

You said came between you and brook what you had

But how could I  break what I didn’t even know it was there

You said you liked her 

But you loved her and left me hanging while the world saw my dirty laundry,while  they poked and poked and picked at me you  me there to be ridiculed. let you fool me time and time again because loved you and wanted you to change and in an instant you shattered me, everything did good,bad,ugly,ruthless,pathetic meant nothing in that one moment beace know you care about at all was just there when wanted someone, well needed you

You wanted her

Why drag me in to it, do look like like to be hurt, do I look like I like my heart to be played with do look like I want to be treated like a fool because that’s what you did to me 

You see it as just as something harmless

But you scared me, left me feeling like no is ever to be trusted because with just a few words they can break you and yes I I should have known better but are you that selfish and cold that you couldn’t see what you were doing to me to us or was it just some sick game when you had us play eachother of for the grand prise of you when from day one she was always the winner 

You think i took things the wrong way

Well that’s how you illustrated it,You painted the perfect picture 

Now I’m left here woundering what I could have done in that year instead of have my heart torn out my chest and broken repeatedly while stood there like a fool under ridicule and let you do it but loved you and a part of me still does becasue your always with me 

You leave and walked out our lives

I still haven’t got any closure but at least I know what it is and why it was the way is was, I needed closure instead standing here with more questions than ever because what if I was tougher and never let you in what turned back that day and held your hand because you needed someone

You did the right thing in the end 

But not in the right way and know would probably say how was ment to do it, well you could see that I as brooken and empty so you could have said it nice like to stop me from hurting more than I already was but I guess you didn’t see the affect you had on me when you did because you were angry at me and her for not doing what you wanted when you didn’t won’t to choose when you already have your mind made up

But I love you and closures al I needed but I need quote got it I just want to know why you felt it was ok to treat us like that to use me like that, did it make you feel like a man to hurt people who loved you 

You ask me what about your needs 

Well fuck your needs and your fucking bull shit your needs consist of fucking so fuck you and fuck the way you made me feel you fucking ass hole

And yes I still love you and would have to see you hurt but fuck you because you couldn’t do the one decent thing need from you 

You’d probably say fuck you too

Well you can suck it because I’m glad in ways that you did what you did so I could  learn from my mistakes early on but just want to know why so can have some closure because would have given you the world if you wanted it 

But guess I’ll always be scared because I’ll probably never get an answer

To sum us and how I feel and felt in beautful metaphors our relationship was we found love (by Rihanna) and how feel and sometimes felt about you emergencey room (by Rihanna) and through most it I was flying hight and felt like I was in Ecstasy and you da one (by Rihanna) illustrated that perfects and gave me a high that I’d never felt before and you left me feeling like a fool in love

You left me torn because of your selfish needs

I would like to say its but its not because barely a day goes by that I dont think of you and wish didn’t I wish had answers to it all but guess you’ll never know how it feels unless someone breaks your heart the way you did mine maybe its never will be 

There’s a 99.9 percent chance that you’ll never read this but my piece hs been said for now and if you ever do I want an answer 

And if you’ve read this by coincidence the I’m talking to you ‘paul’ I know I never could you that but that’s your name and its what mr salier called you when he saw us in that canteen that time after school 

An after it all for some sad reason still love you and stick up for you

And no I’m not brooken any more in just scared because your hurt me and  sticked and stone aren’t going to break me because won’t let them anymore you can think what you want to because you Obliged to your own opinion but not gonna to stay torn forever but I’ll always remember 

evolutional:

It fucking pisses me off when people take advantage of me

Every time I see something like this I think of you an think to myself I should of never let you get to me the way you did